Monday, January 31
I’m glad it’s the last day of January and my New Year’s resolutions can end. Yearly resolutions are only good for 30 days then they expire. Thank God, I can eat again!
Sunday, January 30
This is the Sunday before the Super Bowl, so you need to get in shape. Drink 2 six-packs of beer, eat a large pizza, and take a one mile walk while smoking a cigar. Then you’ll be ready for next week!
Saturday, January 29
MTV’s new show Skins depicts wild sexual behavior of teenagers. The liberals on MTV try to act so pious in protecting human rights, but the exploitation of children by anyone is against the law. If they did this in Lake County, Sheriff Borders would have them cuffed and stuffed!
Friday, January 28
Plastic surgeons must have done a lot of breast augmentation surgeries in Washington D.C. because it’s sure full of a lot of political boobs.
Thursday, January 27
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” unless you are in Washington D.C. and you are trying to be politically correct for the elitists.
Wednesday, January 26
Reports in Washington D.C. say they’re looking for ways so states can actually go bankrupt to get out of pension plans for government workers. If private businesses did that the union leaders would call it union busting, but if the politicians do it they call it reform.
Tuesday, January 25
Well, the new political leaders in Lake County are really starting to move the county in the right economic direction. Too bad most of the staff isn’t following.
