The Sour Orange

In Florida, if a man marries a cougar it’s like robbing the wheel chair.

The only thing harder than defending Casey Anthony in court is someone trying to defend the economic record of Barack Obama for the last three years.

The Lake County Commissioners are still attacking hospital funding by sending a bill for Medicaid funding to the Tax District, and now they don’t want to pay for inmate care. Ask the people in Eustis what happened to them when they lost their hospital – this could be Leesburg if the commission has its way!

The school board bought 1,750 iPads for the new Minneola High School, so every student can have one to use as their own. I guess the other 40,000 students in Lake County aren’t privileged enough to have $698,000 wasted on them.

The three magic words that will make any Fathers Day special are “I Love You.”

My love life is like a Dale Earnhardt, Jr. NASCAR race finish. I’m either in second place, finishing under caution, stopped by the red flag, or DNF.

I understand they’ve discovered another huge oil reserve in the Gulf of Mexico and Texas. Too bad America is wearing the Obama Oil Chastity Belt – we can see it, we just can’t drill for it.