The Sour Orange

The North Pole has just issued a Silver Alert for an old fat man with a long white beard who is breaking into peoples’ homes, leaving things, and eating their food. He answers by the name of Nick.

You know you’ve been really, really bad when Santa de-friends you on Facebook.

I’d be careful about eating those hard, round nuts from the North Pole – there are too many reindeers just wandering around up there.

If Newt wins the GOP nomination and he debates President Obama, it will be an unfair fight. To make it fair, they might have to give Obama a pad, pen, two Teleprompters, and a fifth grade American history book, since he studied abroad as a boy.

Lake County’s “Boss Man” Commissioner Welton Cadwell is pushing to extend the moratorium on transportation impact fees for another year because impact fees cost jobs. It’s amazing how an upcoming election can change a politician’s mind.

Ho! Ho! Ho! School is out for Christmas and all of these little angels can now torment – oops! I mean, bring holiday cheer to their mommies and daddies like they’ve been doing to their teacher for the last five months.

It’s a week before Christmas and I have no money and no gifts, because my wife has taken all of my Christmas spirit out of my wallet.